http://www.aaadealsite.com

It got to be 8:30 last night, and Matthew was still lounging on the couch, stalling before heading up to bed. I reminded him that it was bedtime, and of course he balked at the thought, despite how tired he was. As he headed up the stairs, he started making that little whiny noise all kids make, that sounds a bit like a bleating lamb.

“EHHHHHHHHHH!”

Keep in mind, he’s 8 and way too old for this nonsense. So I decided to use a little reverse psychology, and I whined right back at him. We exchanged a few whiny noises back and forth, and I could see that he was getting mad at me for mimicking him. The wheels were turning in his little head, wondering how he could best me. As he got to the landing at the top of the stairs, it came to him – he could say a really, horrible, awful word. That would teach me a lesson!

So from the top of the stairs, all the way down in the family room, I hear him say, “Penis!”

Did I just hear what I think I heard? Did my son throw down a pseudo-curse word at me? Yes, he did! He was so mad at me that he decided to shock me by saying penis, which in his mind, equals some of the four letter words only Mommy is allowed to say. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and looked up, and saw him smirking at me. He said it again, “Penis!” Meanwhile, I’m trying not to laugh, and heading upstairs to deal with my sorta foul mouthed little boy. As I reach the last step, he says it again – “Penis”, and heads into his room, slamming the door behind him.

I opened the door to his bedroom and replied, “VAGINA!” The look on his face was one of shock. Did his mom just come back to his penis retort with the V-word? Oh, yes she did! So he replied, “BALLS!” I one upped him with “Butt!” and he came back again with “Penis!” and collapsed onto the bed in giggles. I kissed him, told him our potty talk time was over, and it was time for bed. He let me tuck him in without arguing further.

And that folks, is parenting at it’s finest.

I awoke to screaming earlier this week. Matthew’s very loose canine tooth had finally popped out, and he was downstairs with a mouth full of blood. What a way to start the morning! Even after we got his mouth rinsed out and cleaned up, the tears persister. He trudged up the stairs ahead of me, saying, “I don’t WANT to go back to school!”

When I asked him why he was worrying about his return to school (which isn’t for another week!) he admitted it was because of his missing teeth. He’s missing both of his front teeth, and now the canine to one side. “I’m going to look like a bum, mommy. Or a hobo. Or a hillbilly!”

It’s too bad that Halloween is so far off. We could dress him in overalls and a funny hat, give him a little Daisy air rifle, and have our own little Hatfield or McCoy look alike in the house!

I was snuggling with the boy on the couch last night, and gave him a big squeezy hug. “Ouch!”, he said. “You’re going to squish all of the juice out of me.”

I replied saying “Ooh, juice? I like juice…can we squeeze you and drink all of the juice?”

He gave me a look, the kind of look that says ‘exactly how stupid ARE you?’ and replied, “The juice inside of me is pee. And blood. Mostly blood. You can’t DRINK it!”