Remember how your grandma always got you something sort of like what you wanted, but not the real thing you wanted? If you asked for one of those new sweaters at the mall, she’d knit you one. If you wanted a Barbie doll, Grandma bought you Kelly, Barbie’s little sister. When you asked for a Harry Potter book, she got you one of those crappy C.S. Lewis novels instead. What will Grandma do when you ask for heroin?

If laughing at this is wrong, I don’t want to be right!