My friend Tim shared a hilarious bit of news from my neck of the woods this week. Yes, only in Florida will an old biddy call the police because her neighbor “stole” from her. The big heist? A single tangerine from the lady’s fruit tree. Ruth Snow (ain’t she a looker?) was working on a jigsaw puzzle when she saw her neighbor, Italo Tomaselli, walk to her tangerine tree and pluck off a piece of fruit. Apparently, Italo (who is 80 years old) has been helping himself to Ruth’s sweet, sweet fruit (ha!) for years, and Ruth (who is 81) had enough. In fact, she was so bitter, that she cut DOWN several of her own trees to prevent her neighbor from stealing any of her fruit. (Surely she’s heard of the phrase, cutting off your nose to spite your face?)

Tomaselli admits he was in the wrong. Ruth, proving she’s a hag right to the end, said she wants to see his butt in a sling. Very neighborly! I see a lot of fruit theft in her future, considering her name and address, as well as her spiteful actions, have been broadcast all over the news. She just made herself a HUGE target….karma, baby!

In her spare time, Ruth enjoys driving slow in the fast lane, and confiscating baseballs and footballs that land in her yard.

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