Big time fun at the menstuation tea this afternoon!!

First, we all filtered in and sat down. My first seat was next to this 60-ish grandma and her grand-daughter. Before the program started, she started this horribly embarrassing conversation with her grand-daughter, asking “So, do you have YOUR period yet, honey?” It was so mortifying, I had to move! I couldn’t imagine EVER asking that in public. I felt so bad for that little girl!

We watched this horrible video from the 80’s called “I Got It!” which was made by Procter and Gamble I think? The mom in it makes a diagram of ovaries and fallopian tubes on her GRIDDLE using PANCAKE BATTER! (I can never eat pancakes again). The whole thing was like watching a 20 minute long commercial for Always - happy people smiling, talking about periods over breakfast….ACK!

It was so contrived and hokey and I was the only mom trying to stifle a laugh, proving without a shadow of a doubt that something is wrong with me. Best scene - talk about vaginal dischange in the kitchen when “Dad” comes home from the grocery store with maple syrup for those ovaries, and a big package of ALWAYS pads.

I felt like the whole tea should have had a sign saying “Sponsered by Always”. The school nurse held up this life saved model of the human body and actually demo-ed how to put in a tampon. My eyes, my EYES!! And she had a whole table full of pads and went into detail on what SHE prefers…TMI, TMI!! The worst thing was when she pulled out a pair of panties and actually showed us how a pad with wings fit onto them.

I just want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon. I’m scared for life.