My sister & I are emailing back and forth while we’re both at work. She’s making me laugh so hard, I’m afraid my boss is going to ask me what’s so funny…she’s channeling our father and we’re both having flashbacks to our childhood!

Colleen: Mom wants to have a cookout Saturday.

She replied: Are you asking my permission…????

Colleen: Yes, I am going to do that from now on. Can I go to the movies Saturday night also?

She replied: NO. Have you cleaned your room??

Colleen: Yes. And vacuumed, and cleaned the bathroom. And did eleventy-seven loads of laundry.

She replied: What about the dishes???

Colleen: Dishwasher was run and Jim emptied it this morning. (And he did not burn the sketti last night)

She replied: Did you pick up the papers in the side yard?

Colleen: Picked up papers and poop and sticks. The lawn mower can’t go over sticks you know.

She replied: LOL. Did you bring the garbage cans in? And why is that dogs bowl empty?? Go get me a 1/4 inch wrench with adjustable socket…and don’t get me the wrong size!! AND HURRY UP!!! I thought you swept this carport?? Why is there a leaf in the corner?? Did you do it with your eyes closed? Did you bring your lunch bag home?? NO?? Then you will have to carry your sandwich in your hand tomorrow! OK, you can go then…but if you do one thing wrong between now and Saturday, you’re not going anywhere! Damn kid.

Colleen: Stop…can’t breathe…laughing too hard!

She replied: I was laughing as I wrote it..and getting a look from my cube neighbor!
We could entertain each other with “Steve-isms” all day long!!!
Did you finish everything on your list??
Are the wastebaskets empty??
Why is there crumbs on this counter??
Kool Aid stains the formica!
Do you need me to show you how to wring out a washcloth the right way?
Get me a glass of ice water to have with my ice cream!
Did you drink your juice?
Put that damn book away!
Go sweep out the gutter!

Yes, that last 2 paragraphs sound like our father, verbatim! If you can’t enjoy your dysfunctional childhood with your sister, who else can you laugh about it with?